Quote of the week: Sexual Metaphors

“Baseball is a game that is highly regimented. You can’t, for example, run from first base to third, or from home to second. There’s no opportunity for spontaneity; baseball is about following a specific pattern of play. In sex that means following a culturally constructed script of sexual behaviors, instead of continually fluctuating, individual desires.

In baseball, for the game to work, players must stick to their assigned positions; they can’t just wander around the field all willy-nilly. They have specific roles and tasks. If a second baseman gets tired, he can’t sit down on his base to rest for a while. The pitcher and the catcher can’t switch positions just for fun. And there’s an umpire to make sure everyone follows the rules.”


“Now, imagine you’re going to share a pizza with someone. It would be pretty bizarre to order it without discussing the toppings first. Negotiation beforehand is obviously a good idea. If you don’t discuss which toppings you want, someone’s bound to have something they think is icky on their pizza; they might even have allergies. When you assume what someone else likes, you may also miss out on the pizza that you’d both enjoy most. So, instead, you tend to have a conversation like this: “Do you want pepperoni?” “No, I’m a vegetarian. How about artichokes?” “I love artichokes!” And you’re off and running towards a pizza that’s delicious for both of you.

Communication and negotiation about sex—boundaries, limits, likes & dislikes, safer sex—are essential for a healthy and enjoyable sexual experience. Sometimes people’s desires aren’t compatible. That’s natural, and no one’s fault. You could find someone who likes the exact same toppings, but you hate eating with them. People with widely disparate appetites can make a surprisingly complementary team: a person who only needs one bite, but who loves to watch others eat, could be the perfect match for someone who likes to enjoy a whole pizza by themselves.”

–Excerpted from “To Slide or to Slice? Finding a Positive Sexual Metaphor” by Carly Dreyfus on Scarleteen

read the whole (funny, insightful) article here.

Now who’s hungry? 😉


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